Don't be afraid to try and you will win: huhtikuuta 2014

Wednesday 30.4.2014 "First of May" at school

Hello everybody! How are you?

Today I woke up before 6 without any reason. Then I saw lovely good night message from honey, sunshine and this...

I went to school a little earlier cause we had some "first of May" actions by tutors and I promised to decorate school with my friend. I am tutor also and we had training last Thursday. I quess I haven't told about it? It wasn't special but ok. But about today, we had some decorates, everyone should wore colorful clothes (I can't understand how this can be so difficult particularly all tutors should wear because everybody look how we do but like always some tutors wear their only black or white clothes) and the best one gets some candies, special lunch and if you found the picture somewhere at school you got to claim prize. I think day was nice and even teachers were more relax than usual!

This is my "first of May" outfit by mirror

My "first of May" nails

Me and my brother felt we are too old to decorate at home but mummy wanted. Cool balloons anyway!

Tomorrow we don't have school day because it's first of May so we will go to the summer cottage meet grandad and cousins. I would like to go some party or somewhere today but because I don't drink it might be quite boring. So I stay at home doing... nothing. But everybody party hard today but not too hard please!

Until tomorrow!

<3 Veera

Monday 28.4.2014 Strong feelings

Hi,

Everything is ok, I just have been busy. Today I felt so hard missing (prefictive text input quessed kissing, yea I miss it also!). This is song that describes the feelings I have just now.

Passenger - Let her go

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RBumgq5yVrA

Lyrics:

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?

<3 Veera

Friday 25.4.2014 This week with pictures

Hi again!

Sorry you haven't heard of me since Saturday. I have had a flu whole week that's why. On Facebook I have shared "everyday pictures" because I got that kind of challenge. Now I decided to share them to you also.

Monday

Holiday. Nice running training. Warm up, 7x500m faster running, barefoot running and cool-down.

Tuesday

Sun shine and morning walk with Mini. Hopeless fight against the flu.

Wednesday

Only school and homework (and resting and sleeping).

Thursday

Mini slept with me whole evening and night. Aww!

Friday

Me and daddy started our trip to Lahti after school and now I am looking forward to tomorrow.

Good night!

<3 Veera

Sunday 20.4.2014 Shoppings from Helsinki

Good evening!

Today we met grandparents and went to the Easter lunch with them. Six o'clock I went to my friends place and just came home, my friend had birthday today like I told you before. Nice surprise party and quite much people. But quick check to my Saturdays shoppings.

Glitter / 2,50€

H&M / 1,95€

Glitter / 4,90€

Shirt / H&M / 14,95

Todays outfit with new shirt when we have visited granparents place.

+ underwear sale in Cubus

Little selfie about evenings outfit.

Good night!

<3 Veera

Saturday 19.4.2014 Thoughts about alcohol

Hi!

We are driving back to home now. We had very good day, daddy and Valtteri enjoyed car expo and I found almost everything I needed. I will take pictures and show to you tomorrow.

One of my friend has 18 birthday tomorrow and I know that there is enought alcohol too so I want to write about this subject.

I have grown up in Finnish culture, like you know. Usually we think that Finnish alcohol culture is everything but cool. When Finnish drinks, he or she really drink. As much as possible, as long as possible and as strong alcohol as possible. Sounds good, not.

But this is just typical for this country. I'm lucky my family and relatives don't do this or at least I haven't ever seen it. Everybody have normal and healthy (if it's possible to say that) idea about drinking.

For example French and Spanish have different culture. They usually drink glass of wine with good friends and that's normal. And it sound more sophisticated than Finnish style, if you ask me.

Why I wanted to write this subject of matter?

Because I will turn 18 quite soon and then alcohol is legal for me and my friends. Friends have 18 birthdays all the time. Of course those who want to drink they drink before 18 year, but it's different when you have to ask somebody buy it to you or you can buy it yourself.

The way I have learned at home is very good. I haven't ever want to drink and I think my willing birthday is not change it. To my mind it's possible that I will be total abstainer in the future also and it's completely my own decision.

Many Finnish young might think why I don't wanna drink? Why I don't wanna drink in my 18 birthday? Because I can see that alcohol doesn't do anything good, it makes you look stupid, you can't remember what you have done, it smells horrible,... Now I have also seen completely different way to think about it and maybe most important reason for me is that it breaks body.

For me it's completely ok if people wanna drink. It's normal here but it's not reason to me to drink. I have to say that when I'm the only one who don't drink, it's quite funny see how people change. If they are still ok! I mean I don't want to be nanny for any drunk friend.

But hey party hard, how ever you want! This is my way, what's yours?

<3 Veera

Friday 18.4.2014 Easter pics

Hi guys!

I'm writing on car, we are going to Helsinki now.

Today we went to meet grandad and cousins like I told yesterday. It was nice and I will show you some photos I took.

My arm still hurt so it was little fight to curl my hair. But hey we have to suffer if we want to be beatiful, right? I thought that after our school proms, Wanhat, I cut my hair but I can't! Arm wasn't problem last night but I had forgotten alarm so I woke up first time 7 o'clock and of course phone was left side, auts! Whole house was messed up because it's Friday but everybody have a holiday. Mummy had forgotten her alarm also and our dog, Mini, woke up when it heard dog on TV. I wasn't very happy about that because it was sleeping next to me.

Todays outfit, thanks bro about pictures

From grandads place

<3 Veera

Thursday 17.4.2014 Ready, set, holiday!

Happy Easter holiday guys!

Today started our 4 days holiday and I'm very happy about it. Tomorrow I'm going to meet grandpa and cousins for a lunch and after that we'll go to Helsinki. We'll spend Saturday in capital, boys go some car expo and I am going to shopping with mum, wuhuu! The last time is a long time. On Sunday we will meet grandparents and on Moday I maybe meet my friend. I love I have lot of actions for this little break. I hate just sit at home, it's too boring if you ask me!

What makes me happy today was friends whom chatted with my and honey too. He worked 13 hours yesterday but anyway had time to me today between sleeping, it's crazy, respect!

I really appreciate healthy hands now. I took vaccine today morning and now my arm hurts. I hate and scare all spikes and injections but I was brave and went to the school nurse on the morning. But it wasn't so rewarding, I felt bad couple hours, almost vomited and arm still hurts. I don't wait sleeping at all! Have to be happy that hands and arms usually work.

By the way I had last driving school theory lessons today, woop woop! After it I baked cake for tomorrow. Chocolate-lemon cake, Easter tasty flavour. I will give you a pic tomorrow when it's completely ready.

Good night until tomorrow and happy holiday guys!

<3 Veera

Wednesday 16.4.2014 Fight, quarrel, argue,...

Hi all!

It's wonderful that in this world is at least one person (okay I know there is at least 3, thanks my best friends!) who can calm me down when I am angry. Usually I am not only a little bit angry, I always really tell and show it.

I have to say, how horrible it sounds, but sometimes fighting is nice. Maybe because it's not good to keep all bad feelings inside. Same thing with good feelings of course. Why it's that bad show it if you don't have a good day? Ridiculous...

How I usually fight:
😡-😠-😡-😶-😡-😼-😡-😠
very angry - angry - very angry - quiet - very angry - bitch - very angry - angry

How I felt:

Saturday - Sunday - Monday - Tuesday
😤-😢-😰-😊
harm - sad - worry - happiness

Yea, I guess that all normal people prefer argue with second person than first one?!

Usually my fighting is like fire works or bombs or war. But last weekend I cannot be angry as easily as before and if I was angry it didn't take as long time as usually. My feelings turned sadness and worry and when everything was okay again I was very happy. And I think I was angry because I didn't know what was going on or I couldn't understand something.

Missing makes me more emotional and all my feelings are stronger (sad, worry and happy) than usually. I feel them some different and imprecedented way. I also have learned lot of things and grew up last few months and I really hope this will continue very long time.

I think we all find our best friends when we are like a puzzle together, we complement each others. And my friends always listen to me, when I am angry too. It's awesome that I haven't ever fight with them! One of my friend always listen to me but never fight and then I stop trying fight. I don't have any reasons to fight if nobody fight with me. The other friend, I haven't ever at least try to fight with her but I don't know why? Maybe she's so kind and friendly to everybody. I think honey is a perfect combination of the merits of my friends. Sounds perfect so I hope I will have all three for ever!

Take care your friends and don't break anything or anybody when you fight.

<3 Veera

Tuesday 15.4.2014 Monday & Tuesday sports

Hello!

School days are normal, we don't have anything special now.

Yesterday I went Mad Runners running groups training with mummy. I knew only mummy, coach and two other person but everybody was very nice. We started warm up running about 20 minutes and after 6 minutes my legs started hurt, awesome! Anyway I continued whole 20 minutes and then exercise. Yesterday it was :

1. 3 times 100m+100m+100m+100m (walking - running - faster running - fastest running)

2. balance and coordination trainings

3. about 10 meters fast spurts

4. muscle trainings

And after exercise I had to run little bit but legs hurt that much I runners only 5 minutes and then walked without shoes.

I really liked training. I like coach, training and other people here and yesterday weather was perfect for running also. Only problem is my legs but they'll be better!

Today nothing special at school. In the evening I have dancing lesson and we will test our costumes first time! Boyfriend jeans, sneakers and Clean Bandit feat Jess Glynne - Rather Be...

And where is my boyfriend now? Everything is fine, he was busy and I missed very much but today we had more time and I am happiest girl in the world.

Have nice week guys!

P.S. Sorry I don't have pictures!

<3 Veera

Monday 14.4.2014 English essay from the test week

Hi guys!

Test week went pretty good I'm happy my grades and last week we got tests back. I thought to share my English essay to you. This course our subjects were for example technology, organs and space. For me organs, organ donation and health are the easiest subject so that's why I wrote a lot about it. You maybe remember my speech about organ donation (Tuesday 18.3.2014) and now I wrote with headline "Wombs for rent - commercial surrogacy".

"The headline sounds bad. To my mind this subject has lot of goods rhings but also bad ones.

The first question is why does a woman want to share a part of her body with a complete stranger? Why does a woman want to carry and give birth to this baby? Of the reason is money then it's bad. Then it might be part of human traffiking. If surrogate mother comes from India or Africa and tried to earn money for her own family it's very sad. Being a surrogate mother isn't a good way for this. I f a mother want stop give baby for her daughter or in some other non-profit way then it's okay if you ask me. I think mothers have to think if it's ethical or unethical.

Today we have many other ways to get a baby too. For example adoption, which is a very good way I think, and sperm and egg donation. Are they better than "rental wombs"? To my mind they are more often more ethical but you can think about it in another way. Anyway, a couple have to consider many things. Firstly, how they will tell it to the child? Secondly when they will tell it? And thirdly is the surrogate mother ready to meet this child if he or she wants it one day.

Is it possible only for rich and infertile couples? It should be possible for everybody no matter if you are rich or poor. But then we have to ask who will pay for it? I have no idea how much it costs to rent a womb but it must be expensive. The last question is who will choose the surrogate mother? Is it doctor, woman or couple?

The sum up, is it okay to say "wombs for rent"?"

The final relief about organs or not...

One biology course we examined heart... Never again please!? I prefer write about this subject and hope all hearts stay inside bodies!

<3 Veera

Saturday 12.4.2014 Why most important things pain most?

Yesterday I run, only run, 25 minutes! I think it sounds ridiculous but this is first time 6 weeks I did it so I am happy about it. Of course I felt it my calves whole evening but I hope so this is going better.

I have chatted with honey everyday but it has been very intermittent due to busy and bad internet and phone connect. I have thought couple times "Why I want to do this?", "Why I want to take all the pain of missing?", "Why I wait every day?". But when he send me a message or call me I understand right a way why I waited!

Why those two things I love also pain the most? Love and run. Guess what I did last night I wrote this text? Thought and read recent conversations legs up after running. Which one is worse physical or mental pain? I know I bully myself little bit but no can do, I love both things too much.

Is it love that you prefer take all pain to yourself? Just because it hurts more when another has a pain. I really thought it today because the pain of missing is horrible every day but it's nothing compared to knowing that something hurt another. I really prefer take all pain for myself than give it!

Love what you do, do what you love, I think it's all worth it!

<3 Veera

Friday 11.4.2014 Out or fit

In todays Finland you are out or you are fit. So many Finnish, girls and boys, women and men, like fit body and lifestyle, but many of them don't have it. Why? I think because people want sometimes relax, just watch TV and eat chocolate. If this will be the way get six pack and fat per cent zero, we all will be so fit! But we aren't, fit body needs work and motivation.

But is it possible to be too fit? Yes! Most of us like fit style, but somewhere we draw the line. I don't know where this line is but to my mind it is there from the start to envy. Sad.

Important part of this fit or fitness culture is pictures. Selfies, food photos, fitness photos, gym photos,... I think everybody have seen that kind of pictures on Facebook, Instagram, (fitness) blogs,...

If I open my secret box little bit about this subject matter. I'm proud of my little, shy six pack, but I don't want bigger muscles. And I prefer clean, simply food, for example fruits, vegetables, milk and nuts, if I have to say something good about food.

I want to talk outfit / look from other point of view also. I think look isn't most important think when you meet people. Absolutely no! But I have to say that when you meet somebody first time, you always watch how he / she looks like. Your outfit and smile is always what you give first people you meet, it's always your first impression. Of course when you access more those peoples you know much more but is it more difficult access person who is not atractive? I think yes but it might really that worth. This is my idea and I told you how I have felt this.

I think happy people is always more beautiful than sad or angry, so we should try to find something good about everyday!

Or what do you think?

<3 Veera

Tuesday 8.4.2014 Bad day turned better day

Hi guys!

It was little bit bad day today. After yesterday todays first two lessons with clown-looking teacher and imperialism in Africa weren't so cool.

And then religion lesson... I will get used to it soon, I promise!

After school day I went to library and took book called Puhdistus written by Sofi Oksanen. I'm very keen into read it because people have talked about it a lot. I think it tells about violent treatment of woman but I'll tell you more after reading. Or maybe you want read it by yourself?

At home I have enought homework because this period I have quite much "extrawork". I mean that I have to read books, follow news and situations between Russia and Ukrain and one extra course of math.

Honey was busy today but I have to say that well worth to wait. After telling him that day have been bad, I felt better.

Or maybe it was better weather! Morning and after school!

In the evening I had dancing lesson. It was very nice because everything else is forgotten when dancing. I also chat with my friend and teach my brother because he had religion test about Islam, Jewish and Buddhism tomorrow.

Good night!

<3 Veera

Monday 7.4.2014 Today : Africa & running

Hello guys!

Morning I woke up and saw I have had Facebook messages. Of course from honey and of course after I went to sleep.

Morning newspaper have again news about Ebola, it's pretty dangerous in western Africa just now. It is hemophilia, people die (or improve) 6-10 days for bleeding. There is no vaccine. Symptoms are first fever, headache, stomach and muscle aches, then vomiting, diarrhea, rash, joint pain, organ damages, internal and external bleeding and last part is epileptic seizures.

At school I had two lessons history, African history and imperialism, reasons why European countries wanted manage and acquire colonies. Because our history teacher is always keen into tell all possible extra things he told about Star of Africa, Ebola, blood diamonds,..

Africa gave me lot of things to think today!

After school I went running but it was waste of time. Doesn't work at all and legs felt bad. Now I should stretch my legs so bye bye!

EDIT: I have to update this post. Today Africa, particularly west coasts little and incredible country Gambia, really touch me. We spent two weeks there last New Year and I really miss back. I miss honey, people, sun, everything! I have had dream to do something what really means something and for me it means the departure of the relief work. Today I finally sent mail to one lady who is going to Gambia and asked if I'll have opportunity to go after high school. Will see if she answer me!

Second thing in the evening was that I missed honey so much that I started cry when I saw Tjäreborgs advertisement winter 2014-2015 holidays to the Gambia.

Wow, I have lot of things to think tonight!

<3 Veera

Sunday 6.4.2014 Good weekend

On Friday I went to Pori after school with mummy and brother. I haven't been in city for so long time, nice to see little bit more world than only own little town. We went to some shops. My brother needed jeans so he tried to find them and went couple shops. He was incredibly efficient. Not at all like me! Now I didn't need anything, but normally I can spend too much time in one shop because nothing is good enought to me, always wrong color, wrong style, wrong price,... After shopping we went to restaurant and then home.

Saturday I baked cake base and coating mass for tomorrow. Afternoon I went to Eura meet grandparents and uncle with daddy and brother. Daddy had birthday last week and now he has new sports car so of course he wanted show it for his brother. So we all watched and uncle tested it, it's so cool! My brother also took some pictures my outfit.

Today morning I made cake ready and did Swedish homework. I had last 6x4mins running training, tomorrow I can start training normal way. I was very happy because my legs didn't hurt at all today. Now I have to take good care of them with stretching and always focus on them when I am running. After running I stretched and in the evening practised dancing things. Now it's sauna time. Until tomorrow guys!

Happy birthday daddy!

<3 Veera

Thursday 3.4.2014 Test week finally done!

Hello!

Test week is done now, it's good. Today I made my English test whole 4 hours, huh! I hope it was ok, I really tried my best. First part was word test, then we had same kind of test than final test will be and last part was writing. My headline was "Wombs for rent", I didn't invent it! I had to write 150-250 words, after writing I checked and had 280 words, noooo! Rule is that max 10 per cent extra is ok so that means that completely max was 275 so I had take couple sentence off, not easy after almost 4 hours test...

But today relax and tomorrow start next and last period! After test I went to running and stretching. Now it's time to go driving school, see you tomorrow, bye!

<3 Veera

Wednesday 2.4.2014 ...

Hello everybody!

Today I had next to last test this test week. I think all test have been ok, but usually when you think this way, you really fail all tests. Tomorrow English test and then next and last period before summer holiday! Wuhuu, it sounds so good!

I don't have so much to tell because everyday I woke up same time and went to do test, after test I had one refreshing lesson and then I went back to home and started study next subject. And next day same thing...

I caould show some pictures from Facebook, I don't have even good outfit photos because my uniform have been a sweatsuit and ponytail whole test week.

And this is fake smile!

And same thing... Or no, no! This is old picture, it's took on Friday after school when I was really happy!

But soon this is over and I can show you more interesting text and more photos. Or tell you how much I hate my history and religion studies. I have incredible angst almost every subject in willing period particularly those two and I am not sure why.

After watching next picture I might remember more about religion stories than after whole willing course... I know I am hopeless, but I don't care, I can't.

Have you ever played this with friends? We played this always after luch at school and year was...

Good end of the week,

<3 Veera

Saturday 29.3.2014 Running school final weekend

Hey guys!

Today and yesterday we had last meeting with this running group. But I'm very happy I will see those people later in competitions and MadRunners - groups trainings.

Friday we had muscel tests and it was nice surprise all parts were better than last time. First we talked about running, what kind of problems we have had, are we going some competitions next summer,... Then we warmed up before tests. I like it when we do some exercise adults are quite at least little time. Yea, am use to be the junior about everywhere, but anyway sometimes their conversations are boring and too slowly. I want action! But all of adults here also are nice and friendly. Tests went pretty good like I said, of course I can always be better. After tests we strech and talk again, huoh!

Saturday we start morning by varied running training. Even I can did it, that was good. Then we had lesson about competitions and what have to do before you can go. Afternoon others had 4km final competition, but morning exercise was enought to my legs so I wasn't able to participate in it. I was very happy honey chat with me, I was angry enought because I can't run.

After running school we went home and in the evening we went to Rauma in Amarillo restaurant spend time together. I hoped chat with my love, adults just drink their beers. We had two men this group so after couple drink they were good company. When we went home I made a quick visit to see grandpa and then home.